Valentine’s Day Grinch

Valentines day is upon us. My younger kids can hardly contain themselves for excitement. They are looking forward to giving and especially receiving those cheesy little cards and hoping for some candy to go along with them. I’m not sure why, since I’ve never really made a big deal about it. I mean I don’t usually decorate the house or go out of my way to make the day extra special. With the exception of last year. I did have a family valentine party last year. I’m not doing one this year. I just don’t have the energy or desire to go to the trouble.Perhaps I’m the valentine grinch this year. Why do we do this Valentine day thing anyway?

There were actually three different Saint Valentines, the honoring of which fell on the same day by decree way back in 496 AD by Pope Gelasius I. He did it in yet another recasting of a pagan festival to a Christian feast. The saints Valentines themselves had nothing to do with romantic love(Eros). It was all about Agape. (Christian love) At least that’s what it was for about for the next 900 years. The pagan festival Lupercalia, however, was definitely Eros oriented.

Lupercalia was a Roman festival held between February 13 and 15 and had to do with purging, cleaning, and fertility. Interesting combo. The God they were sacrificing to was Faunus, the God of agriculture and shepherds. You can connect the dots with a little imagination. Oh, they were also celebrating Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome. The priests would go down to the cave where those two were supposed to have been raised by wolves, and sacrifice a goat and a dog. They would then make strips of the skins, dye them in blood and go around the town and country side slapping women with it. Women would go out of their way to be slapped by a bloody goat skin because it meant they would be blessed with fertility. There would be feasting for several days, and the highlight was a lottery of sorts. The young men would pick the name of a young women out of a hat, or maybe it was a vase, and those two would be a couple for a year. Quite often marriages resulted from this event.

Pope Gelasius I, outlawed the practice and instituted the feast of St. Valentine instead. However, it still had nothing to do with Eros until the medieval times and the era of ‘courtly love’. Chaucer was the first we know of to mention it in writing. Legends then popped up around St.
Valentine to meet the need for meaning behind the so called day of love, but as is the case with most legends, no one knows where they came from and they cannot be proved true.

The main legend being that Valentine of Rome was a priest during the reign of Emperor Claudius II. Claudius banned young men from getting married because he had a lot of wars to fight and he figured unmarried men made better soldiers. Valentine secretly married young couples anyway until he was caught. Whether this was the reason he was put to death or not, we don’t know. Only that he was martyred for being a Christian.

The commercialization of Valentines day started in the mid 1800’s with the mass production of cards. It became so successful as a business that enterprising persons decided to try commercializing other holidays, like Christmas. The mid twentieth century added roses and chocolates to the gift list and it wasn’t until as late as 1980 that jewelry and diamonds began to be marketed as an appropriate Valentines day gift.

So why do we bother with all of this? I decided that this year, I wouldn’t. Bother with it that is. I just haven’t been in the mood to contribute to the billion dollar valentines day paraphernalia revenues. Maybe its because I just survived my first week off sugar and refined flours and I’m still irritable. Whatever the reason, I’m the Valentine day grinch this year.